The invitation saga

So I know I've been pretty much MIA recently, but when you hear about my story you'll understand why.

The past few weeks have been pretty crazy.  I moved out of my apartment and into the one that K and will eventually share.  I've also been fighting with the woman who's been designing our invitations for the past 4 months.  Yes, that's 4 months I said.

To fully grasp the craziness that ensued, I will have to start from the beginning and tell you the entire saga.  Back in April of this year, I started looking into invitations.  We found ones we LOVED from this one designer but she was super expensive and we just couldn't justify spending that much on invitations.  So I started looking on etsy to see if I could find a reasonable alternative and I stumbled upon a shop that had gorgeous invitations.  So I contacted the seller and told her that I loved her invites and asked for more detailed pricing.  I told her we were on a budget so wanted to stay as inexpensive as possible.  She sent me pricing and we eventually came to an agreement. 

We asked for references and contacted them, did a lot of searching to see if anyone had written anything negative about this seller and things looked pretty good.  So we decided to go ahead with her.

Now, I thought she would set up an individual listing on etsy so we could purchase it through them but she said she doesn't take PayPal.  She only takes check or money orders or a credit card for a 15% up charge so we decided to just mail her a check.  Okay, in hindsight and since you all probably know the ending of this story, you'd say that was our first mistake.  I'm inclined to agree with you looking back.  But at the time, we had no reason to suspect her and had gotten reviews from people who used her without issue. 

As soon as she received payment she started working on our proofs.  This process was a lot slower than I has expected but we still had plenty of time to get the invitations.  Our wedding is in October and it was still April.  Over the course of the next 3 1/2 months we finally came up with proofs.  I had originally told her I wanted to send them out in mid-July so I expected to have them in my hands by then.  But July came and went, and still no invites. 

After August 1st rolled around, I started to get nervous and angry.  We had paid her in full and she had no sense of urgency about this.  About 3weeks ago she told me that she sent a paper proof and the envelopes so I could get started on calligraphy.  About 1 week ago, I received the envelopes but still no proof.  After a couple heated emails, she finally sent me an email with a delivery confirmation for the invitations.  She told me that she'd refund my money for anything I hadn't received to date so I told her that I'd like my money back for the programs and thank you cards.  I had already purchased thank you cards at Target and contacted another woman in Georgia to finish up the rest of our paper for the wedding since, clearly, this woman is incompetent. 

I checked the delivery confirmation later that day and it wasn't in USPS's system.  I figured maybe she sent it too late in the day and checked the next day.  Same error message.  Pretty sure she sent me a fake confirmation number because she never actually sent the invitations.  So now, she is no longer responding to my attempts to contact her.  Her etsy shop which was ExposuresPD has closed and she has opened a new shop called EXPandD.  She's also on facebook as Exposures Photography.  Her name is Nicole Price.  I want everyone to know about her so that this doesn't happen to anymore brides.  Planning a wedding is stressful enough without having to deal with this.  We do plan to take legal action against her. 

Here's the thing, after googling her now we've found a lot of information that we somehow didn't find before.  She apparently has been scamming people on ebay, selling designer purses and then either sending a fake bag or not sending one at all.  While I think that's a terrible thing to do, I'm going to say that my story is much much worse.  It's not just screwing someone out of a couple hundred dollars and a purse.  She's messing with my wedding.  Clearly this woman has no heart and no conscience. 

I have since found someone on etsy who she sold program fans to who actually received the product that she paid for.  Guess we're just unlucky.  I'm not sure if she set out to scam us from the beginning or if she just used our money and then didn't have any money left to print and send our invitations.  Either way, we're out quite a bit of money with just a bunch of envelopes to show for it. 

So, we're dealing with it.  Yes, it sucks and yes we're both upset and mad at this woman.  But we at least have a solution and are taking care of it.  So for those of you who haven't gotten an invitation from us yet, this is why.  I realize they are very late and my sincerest apologies for that. 

I will say one more thing.  The woman that we've contacted here in GA has been AMAZING.  She just opened her small business in the past year and has completely taken over for me.  I've told her my whole story and all she wants to do is make it better.  So, if you're looking for someone to do your invites and in you're in GA her website is here:  http://www.especiallyyoursdesign.com/  and I HIGHLY recommend her work.  She really has been a pleasure to work with and has put my mind at ease. 

Groomsmen, Suit Up!

I've always been jealous of guys.  Yup.  I said it.  Not when it comes to the majority of things, but when it comes to clothes that green eyed monster rears it's ugly head.  Guys have it so easy!  Am I right?  Their pants come in sizes based on the size of their waist and the length of their legs.  They can walk into pretty much any store and buy pants off the rack without trying them on.  And then there's women's pants.  You can be a size 2 in one store and size 10 in another, easily.  And it's no mystery to any woman who has recently tried on bridal gowns that this phenomenon carries through into the bridal salons as well.  I know I tried on dresses in at least 3 different sizes that all fit me well.  And the dress I eventually purchased?  4 sizes larger than my typical dress size.  No, that's not a typo, 4 sizes.  Guys have it so easy.

So my expectation for suiting up our guys was that it would be quick and easy.  Turns out that dressing the guys was simple and yet not.  There are really only so many options for guys in weddings if you want a more formal look.  Tuxes or Suits?  Cumberbunds or Vests?  Black, gray, or brown?  Ties or bowties?  What color vest/cumberbund/tie/bowtie?  Yup.  That's pretty much it.  Sounds simple right?

One fine Saturday the mister and I walked into Men's Wearhouse and sat down with a consultant.  Unlike dress shopping, we were in and out in less than an hour and could check this completely off our to-do list.  So. Jealous.  After deciding on the type of formalwear the guys would be donning, the color swatches came out.  And this is where things got a little difficult.

You see, the girls are in eggplant.  I love the color, I think it's gorgeous.  But to my lovely fiance, it's purple (read: girly).  I tried showing him photos like this one:

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Just to show him that it could be much, much worse.  But we were still at a no go on the purple for the guys.  Looking back if I had pushed him on it, I'm sure he would have given in.  But I just didn't feel that strongly about the guys wearing purple.  But we still had to figure out what they were going to wear, if not matching the bridesmaids. 

After playing with color swatches, looking at photos and debating over it for awhile, we came up with a pretty good compromise.  The guys will wear champagne, a nice neutral color, and the boutonneires will match the bridesmaids flowers.  So, we still tie things together but my guy gets to go through his entire wedding day without being harrassed by his friends.  Well, at least not for the color they'd all been forced to wear.  

Anyone else not having girls and guys matching?  How did you tie everything together?

My Non-Floral Centerpieces

When we first started planning the wedding and were looking at our budget and how much everything we wanted to include would cost, we decided we had to prioritize.  We looked at all of our "wants" and made a list of our top 3 priorities.  This came with the disclaimer that anything not on this top 3 list we would be willing to compromise on.  As you can imagine, this wasn't an easy task.  But we did it.

One of the things that didn't make the cut for us was flowers.  Although I do love flowers, there were other things we wanted to put our money towards that meant our flower budget would be low.  So this means no large arrangements around the room and no floral centerpieces. 

The good thing about our venue is that they have large arrangements already in place on the buffet tables and along the walls in the reception space.  They're silk, but they're free so I can't complain.  But the centerpieces are a different story.  After doing a lot of searching I came up with a few ideas. 

I knew that I wanted something that wasn't too large or bulky.  We've all been to those weddings where you have to do jedi moves in your seat to see around the centerpiece to talk to the person across the table from you.  Not fun. 

Even though I know that with my family, this might be a bad choice, I wanted to incorporate candles in the centerpieces.  At my cousin's wedding, the family members at my table (who will remain nameless... ahem... you know who you are) managed to set fire to the table number that was gracing the table.  With a tealight.  We were able to quickly put it out before the bride and groom realized there was a small fire at the corner table.  So, with this history, you can imagine my apprehension.  And yet, we push on.

The first idea I had was floating candles.  Something like this:

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Another centerpiece I liked was the submerged flowers with candles.  Kind of like this:

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But once a theme emerged for our wedding, these didn't seem to fit anymore.  I still love them and think they are gorgeous, but we had to rethink our plans.  Since our venue has gorgeous trees, we've been going with a tree theme.  So it made sense to include this theme in our centerpieces in some way.  This is where I fell in love with manzanita branches.  For those of you who don't obsessively read wedding magazines, message boards, and blogs, here's some imagery.

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I love, love, love these centerpieces!!  They're so pretty and they go so well with our theme.  But, (of course, there's a but, right?) the branches are pretty pricey.  To do all of our centerpieces the branches would be a couple hundred dollars.  Most of what you're paying for is shipping because these grow only in California and have to be shipped so they don't break on their way to Georgia. 

So I've decided to use these kind of as a template, but to collect branches on my own.  It's actually not as easy as it sounds because the branches have to look a certain way to work for the centerpieces.  But I do have a first round centerpiece to show you guys.  I think it turned out pretty good and am excited to make the rest of them. 





I'm thinking I might do two branches per centerpiece because it looks a little sparse.  But overall I think it turned out pretty well for the first one!  What do you think? 

   

The Venue Search: How I Stayed Organized

When I first started planning my wedding, I was overwhelmed really quickly with how much there really is out there.  There are a TON of ideas, venues, vendors, etc. and months and months of searching wouldn't even put a dent in everything out there.  When I started calling around to different vendors and venues, asking questions and getting quotes, I had no freaking clue what I was doing.  What questions do you ask?  What's important to ask now and what can wait until later? 

I came up with a lovely way to stay organized, so I thought I would share this with you all.  After searching around and discussing our priorities for the wedding, we came up with a list of questions we would ask a prospective venue.  Since I am a planner to the core, I took it one step further. 

I made a Word document.  Each page of this document was for a different venue and had the information for the venue and all of the questions we wanted to ask written out.  I printed out each page and put it inside its own plastic sleeve which then went into a 3-ring binder.  Inside the same sleeve I put any business cards or additional information I got from the venue.  So whenever I got a phone call returned or an email from a venue, I filled out the informaton on the sheet and put a copy of the email in the sleeve.  It made for a much easier comparison between venues and helped us narrow down our venue and find the perfect place for us.  So here's the setup I had for each of the venues we contacted.   

Venue Name & Address:
Distance from Atlanta (mileage, time):
Phone Number:
Email:
Contact Name:
Nearest Airport (name, distance):

1.  Is the site available on (insert dates here)?

2.  How many guests can the site accomodate?

3.  Can we hold both the ceremony & reception here?

4.  What is the site fee for the ceremony?

5.  What is the site/rental fee for the reception? 

6.  What do these site fees include? 
       a.  Ceremony:
       b.  Reception:

7.  Do you have any wedding packages?  What is the cost and what's included?

8.  Is there lodging available at the facility?  If so, how many people can stay?  If not, is there lodging nearby?

9.  Is there transportation available to hotels in the area?

10.  Do you cater?  Do you allow outside catering?

11.  Do you offer both options of either buffet or plated meals?

12.  Do you have alcohol packages?  Is outside alcohol allowed? 

13.  Is tax and gratuity included in the quoted price?

14.  Would you host the rehearsal?  Is there an extra cost for this?

15.  Can you host the rehearsal dinner?  What is the cost for this?

16.  Is there a wedding coordinator or planner that works with your venue?  Is this included in the package or price? 

17.  Is there a florist your venue works with?  Is this included in the package or price?

18.  Is there a DJ your venue works with?  Is this included in the package or price?

19.  Is setup and tear down included in the cost?  If not, what is the cost for this?

20.  How long do we have use of the facility?

21.  How many weddings or events are going on at the same time?

22.  Do we need to purchase event insurance?

23.  Do we need to purchase a liquor license?


How did you or are you staying organized with your planning?  How did you keep track of everything you asked the vendors/venues? 

Gift Giving: Buying for 200 people

The whole gift giving process is difficult.  It's hard enough to find the perfect gift for one person that you know they'll love, cherish and most of all, use for years to come.  It gets even harder when you're buying for 150-200 of your closest friends and family.  What do you get for said crowd that won't break the bank but also won't end up in the trash can on the way out the door?  The options really are limitless.  There are so so so many great ideas out there, it's just so hard to choose!

I really didn't want to just give something that people would never use.  The whole jordan almond thing is nice and traditional, but not for me. 

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I've also been to a few weddings where they gave out M&M's as favors.  Either personalized or not.  I think it's a cute idea, especially the personalized ones, but I wanted something more original than that. 

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I guess the first thing we needed to decide is whether we were going to DIY or not.  I'm still on the fence about this but for a large wedding, it just doesn't seem as feasible to DIY favors.  There are just too many of them and the benefit of saving money and having a bit more personal of a favor just doesn't outweigh the time cost in my eyes.  But I still swoon over pictures like this one:

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My original idea was to make sugar cookies in the shape of fall leaves (for our October, tree themed wedding) and decorate them with icing.  Something like this.

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I wanted to do a couple different shapes and give each person 2-3 cookies.  Which I am realizing means that I need to make up to 600 cookies to make this happen.  In order to really keep them fresh I'd have to ice them the week of the wedding.  Although I've never done this before, I have a feeling that week will be packed full as it is without having to carefully decorate acorn, pumpkin, and leaf shaped cookies.  So, FI and I decided to rethink this whole DIY favor thing.  We've come up with an idea that I like even better than the cookies and I think will work really well.  I'm super excited about it and I really think our guests will love it.  I'll tell you all about it... on a later post!

Have you gotten a favor at a wedding that you just loved? 



Engaged = Single?

I went to a wedding in March of this year that completely confirmed one decision I've made about our wedding.  Here I am sitting at my table having idle chit chat with the people I've been seated with and minding my own business when all of a sudden, people around me started saying my name.  I did everything I could to ignore them but it was just not possible.  In fact, even the girl with the stupid microphone up front who I definitely don't know started saying my name, calling me up there.  What did they want you ask?  Well, all these girls were lined up waiting to catch the bouquet.  And for some reason, the bride (and everyone else in the room) felt that they couldn't possibly do the bouquet toss without me.  All my attempts to hide behind my cake, under the table, or in the bathroom were to no avail.

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They all knew my name.  The bride wouldn't throw her flowers without me standing in the crowd with the single girls, also known as the people under the age of 21.  I didn't realize that the ring on my finger only counted if it was double stacked.  According to all of them, I was engaged but still single.

Let me tell you all a little secret.  I'm the next one in that room to get married.  I didn't need to catch the stupid bouquet to tell me that.  Unless the 8 year old next to me gets engaged and married by the end of the summer I think my position is safe.  So, I did what any other self-respecting "engaged-but-still-single" girl would do.  I hid.  Yes, I hid in the back behind the 8 year old.  And while all the girls were fighting over the bouquet, I hightailed it out of there back to my table. 

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And this, my friends, is why we're not doing a bouqet toss.  Or a garter toss.  I hate it as a single person and I think I'll hate it once I'm married too.  No one wants to stand in front of a crowd of married people and be like, "hey look at me, I'm still single!"  No. one.  And for that matter, there's no need for my pastor, grandmother, and the children I teach Sunday School to, to see the Mister with his head up my dress as he takes off the garter that's only purpose is to make me uncomfortable and itchy. 

So, sorry to all of you who love this tradition but it's just not happening at our wedding.  And to all the single people who are planning to attend:  You're welcome.

I'm in love with Kusudama Balls

When I starting planning this wedding I had no idea how involved this planning process would be.  I saw lots (and lots) of things that I loved and desperately wanted to incorporate into my wedding.  Kusudama balls were just one of those many details.  Don't know what I'm talking about?  Well my original inspiration came from Miss (now Mrs) Cardigan on Weddingbee.  Here are her photos:

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I think I'm in love.  I love the simplicity of her ceremony decor and the pop of yellow is just awesome.  There's a great tutorial for making these kusudama balls here: part 1 and part 2). 

So I've recently started on this project and let me just say that as gorgeous as these little balls are, they are evil.  Pure. evil.  I didn't really consider how much time and work was going to be required of me to make enough for our ceremony site.  If we have 200 guests (the max that our site holds), that's 10 rows of 10 on each side.  One ball per end chair in the aisle means I need to make 20 of these things.  Doesn't sound too hard right?  That's what I thought, but oh how misguided I turned out to be.  Here's the sequence of events that goes into one of these little balls. 

First, I had to cut all of the paper into little squares (3x3).  Since I started with 8 1/2" x 11" that means I get 6 squares out of one sheet of paper. 

Then, you fold.

And fold (and fold, and fold, and fold)....

Then, you take each of these folded papers and glue them into petals.  I don't have a personal photo of this, but here's generally what a petal looks like:

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Then, once you've made enough petals and the glue has dried, you glue 5 of these together to make a flower.  Looks easy?  Yes, you'd be wrong again.  Getting those petals to line up perfectly... it's just... well, not easy.

Then, you do it again

And you do this until you have 12 flowers.  Yes, that's right.  If you've been doing your math along with me that means that you need 60 small pieces of paper to make 1 ball.  A little more math tells you that to make 20 balls, I will need to fold, glue, wait, glue, wait, glue, etc. with 1200 of these petals.  The enormity of this task didn't really hit me until I started making my first one last night and saw how long these steps actually take.  The things we do for 1 day.  A very special day, but 1 day nonetheless.

Once you have your 12 flowers, you start gluing them together, giving them time to dry in between. 

Until finally you have half of a Kusudama ball.

And then you make another half.  After both halves are dry (or pretty dry if you're impatient like me), you glue the ribbon or whatever you'll use to hang these to the inside and glue them together.  After this step is where I went to bed and let the glue dry overnight.

I woke up to a nice, dry, fully-put-together Kusudama Ball.  KittyBean was really interested as you can tell from the first photo. 

I'm really happy with the way it turned out.  Not too thrilled about the prospect of making another 19, but what's a girl to do?  What do you think of my first attempt?